(St. Jerome the Priest/Ivan Mestrovic/Sheridan Circle Massachusetts Avenue & 24th Street, NW)
As promised in my previous blog, let me tell you a story of how Andrea became the bully that she is.
When I was younger, my brother and I were sent to attend a small Bible seminar. This was the time when I was still holy, and a member of the Legion of Mary and all. I think I was 16 or 17 at the time, and a freshman at UST.
Anyways, the speaker was a very well-read scholar of the Bible. He was telling things about Obadiah and Nahum, and people whose names were equally as ugly. Perhaps, he was a bit over his head that time, because he knows that the average teener does not bother to read the Bible. Whence, in a loud voice, he asked us "Have you read the part in Matthew, where it says, Liars go to hell?"
Stillness.
"It's there, in chapter 31. Liars go to hell!" He continued
Slowly, participants - mostly 14-20 years old - started nodding their heads in approval.
And then, he boomed at the top of his voice, "LIARS, YE ALL! There is NO Matthew 31! Matthew is only up to chapter 28".
Everybody was laughing. He probably saw me unamused by his antics, so he approached me and in his very unteacherlike behavior, derided me by asking me a very stupid question, "You, have you read Matthew 31? Where it says Liars go to hell?"
By this time, everybody was laughing at me. I saw my brother's look. That look that says, "Oh you should have left this insane man alone! Now, prepare for doom."
I stood up, and got the microphone - all the while pretending I am more stupid than him (and it's pretty hard). And then, I said, "Are you referring to the apocryphal Matthew or the regular/orthodox Matthew?"
This is the direct result of UST Humanities Section. And of spending 5 hours waiting for a PE class at 6 pm. Anyways, I have read some things about apocryphal books, but of course, there was no apocryphal Matthew.
The speaker was astounded. He was being attacked with the same weapon he drew from his arsenal. To add to his confusion, my brother got the microphone, and asked him in a polite and sarcastic manner, "....you mean, you don't know about it?" He said something like it was a recent find. And that he read it somewhere in Time or Newsweek. It would've been a killing now, because my brother would've said something like, "It's in ebay, dummy".
I picked up an old book from inside my bag, which my mother borrowed from the Aquinas School Library (she worked there during those times), and pretended to read, "all ye who are evil-doers, who are deceitful and liars, ye shall all go to hell".
To which my brother added luciferically, "...especially ye pastors who pretend to know so much about the Bible, but are liars really"
Everybody was silent.
Anyways, the speaker quickly declared a recess. We did not return after recess. Nor did we ever return to that place. But we were polite enough to leave a note saying, "....hey, we were just joking about the apocryphal Matthew and all.... but liars will indeed go to hell." I ended it with a "peace", and I think my brother drew the anarchy sign and decorated it with marijuana leaves. That's how creepy we were.
I think that the lesson is for those who always try to make fun of their audience. Sometimes, they work. Sometimes though, there are insane people in the audience. And it's best to leave them alone. But since you don't know who are stupid like you and who are smarter, it is best to shut up. Be prepared to reap the whirlwind of a decisive counter-attack from the very weapon you draw from your pathetic arsenal. In the end, if you are a humble person, you will get away unscathed. That is, no insane duo will harass you.
And yes, Donna, that's where Andrea got her antics.
***Just an hour ago, we were reviewing about the solar system. When we got to the meteors and craters, she looked at me intently and I knew she was up to something again. And she's better with words. George: What's the largest planet?
Andrea: You mean the one with 16 moons?
George: How did you know that (proud)?
Andrea: I saw that in the book you gave me, remember?
George: Oh, the science book we bought? And you read about Jupiter's moons? Are you sure they're 16? (it's for high school students)
Andrea: Oh, I mean, the major moons. (I got killed already)
....Only to be superseded by this:
"Oh, daddy. Looks like a meteor landed on your face". Sheesh... I can't beat that.
